Auditions: “You Do Not Want To See This”
by Jonathan A. J. Northover
A Dark Comedy
Where: Beowulf Alley Theatre
When: Wednesday 11th May from 6.00pm
Please email email@example.com for sides (see also below). Headshots and resumes welcome.
JANE - an attorney who represents death row inmates.
BARRY - an attorney who works for JANE.
HEATHER - 20s or 30s; office assistant. Rough. Tendency to fall in love with prison inmates.
SHARON - a colleague of the others. An older but forgiving version of HEATHER.
KEITH - a troubled man who causes trouble inadvertently.
GARY - a troubled man who deliberately causes trouble.
What: A full length play
Two men, Keith and Gary, find themselves involved in a gruesome murder, and seek help from Jane and Barry, two defence attorneys. Jane represents Keith and Barry represents Gary.
Jane does her best to point the finger at Gary on Keith’s behalf, and Barry inadvertently does his best to point the finger at Gary too. Nevertheless, despite Gary’s violent tendencies, and Keith’s neurological problems, Barry and Jane remain admirably committed to helping them to the best of their abilities. That is, until they find out who the victim is.
The true events gradually unfold in a series of flashbacks that edge closer to the moment of truth. Finally, at trial, a series of stunning revelations unavoidably seals the fate of one of the men. The first question is, is it the right man? The second question is, do we really want to know?
Act II Sample Dialogue
(BARRY taps on the cell door, which opens, and he exits. A beat. HEATHER enters.)
HEATHER. Oh! (Beat.) He’s gone. (Beat.) Do you know where?
HEATHER. (Beat.) Was he limping?
GARY. It was a stapler, ok?
HEATHER. A stapler?
GARY. In the face. I stapled his face. So no. He wasn’t limping. (HEATHER sits down and faces GARY. Pause.) What?
HEATHER. I just want you to know Gary, what happened earlier, in here, with you, was…not a mistake exactly, but…it’s just, it’s not what I want. Not like this. (Beat.) And I know we’ve only been together – well, dating – since—
HEATHER. So ok, not dating exactly. But…lovers…right? And as lovers—
GARY. Since when were we lovers?
HEATHER. Since we, since you…since we loved! In here!
HEATHER. Well what would you call it? Flirting? (Beat.) You know what. Forget it. Forget I ever said anything. All I was going to say was I can be there to support you if stuff happens. Like, when, you know. When you get executed. Cos it’s not your fault. It’s Barry’s.
GARY. When I get executed? What do you mean when?
HEATHER. Everyone Barry has ever represented has been executed. (HEATHER realizes what she has just said and reacts, perhaps covering her mouth with her hand.) Promise you won’t say I told you that. Ok? He’s…sensitive about it. The point is, I can be supportive. Right up to the end, if you want my support. Right up to the end, and then even after that. (Beat.) Is, um, is Gary spelt with an ‘e’ or an ‘a’? It’s G-a isn’t it? (GARY looks confused.) Just in case, you know. Cos I have room for you Gary.
GARY. Wait…are they – those names, those names on your leg, were they like, me, those guys?
HEATHER. ‘Those’ guys?
GARY. Your tattoos? Your ‘scars’?! (Pause.) Did I poke a graveyard on legs? In a cell!?
HEATHER. (HEATHER gets up and slaps GARY.) There’s no need to be personal Gary. Since we were just flirting I don’t think you have a right to be so personal. (HEATHER glares at GARY for a moment. Then she kisses him passionately. A beat.) You might be one of eight Gary. But I like you more than you realize. (BARRY enters; his face is still bleeding.)
BARRY. Ah! Heather! (HEATHER bursts into tears and exits.) Ah.
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